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Nature made us survive — to exist physically in the world — yet to even be here, someone had to reproduce.
The two basic drives of life are
survival and reproduction.
Mixing them together
misses subtle distinctions,
yet seeing their connection is deeply empowering.
Discovering what makes you tick — what draws your attraction and ignites your sexuality — is profoundly invigorating.
About Mating Strategies
And the Connection to Survival Strategies.
Many mix the two.
That makes sense, because every mating strategy can also be seen as a survival strategy.
A female choosing the “Alpha” male is a classic example — she secures strong genes and a partner who is more likely to protect the female and the offspring.
In nature, the Alpha may defend the cubs from invading males, and the whole pack, so the mating choice is also a survival choice.
This simple logic becomes limiting when you look at more complex patterns.
For example, someone might use a mating strategy that exchanges sexual energy for attention or resources. Marilyn Monroe comes to mind.
People call that a “survival strategy” because imagining the attention and resources she might receive — and the two can look identical from the outside.
But is “looking vulnerable and attractive” really a survival strategy?
For others, “looking strong and dangerous” is their survival strategy.
So making a clear distinction between the two can create more clarity, and more options to see the complex map these two stratagy dimensions form.
for exmample:
Take the loner survival strategy.
It may look neither sexual nor social.
Among wolves, competing for the Alpha, Beta, or Gamma position is usually what secures reproduction.
Yet some wolves use a completely different reproductive pattern —
getting out there into the wild, all alone, for months in the cold.
Howling and calling in lone-wolf females, seducing them outside the pack,
and starting a new pack with them.
You can see this clearly in The Rise of Black Wolf (2010) — especially at minute 29.
This wolf uses the survival strategy of the lone wolf, and turns it into his mating strategy.
Is it that simple ?
I’m using mammals here only to stress the point.
These species often show extreme versions of unique mating strategies, and while humans operate in more complex ways, they reveal the different dimensions these strategies can take.
The apes in this documentary "Rise Of The Warrior Apes"
show another example: one male doesn’t aspire to be the “Alpha” at all.
Yet through niceness and kindness, researchers discovered he still managed to spread his genes widely through the pack, and many of the future members of the tribe are his. Being a nice, adorable, lovable, not a problem maker, not a contender, is a kind of Mating Strategy,
Mating strategies are the patterns, behaviors, and choices through which living beings attract, select, and keep mates in order to reproduce — ensuring the continuation of their genes.
These strategies can include both conscious and unconscious behaviors that aim to maximize reproductive success. They differ across species, individuals, and even situations, and can be influenced by environment, hormones, social structure, and different bodies state.
Some key aspects:
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Short-term vs. long-term strategies — some focus on many partners (spreading genes widely), while others prioritize bonding and raising offspring together.
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Mate choice and signaling — displays of strength, beauty, intelligence, or nurturing ability to attract a mate.
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Resource and protection exchange — offering stability, safety, or status in return for affection, partnership, or sexual access.
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Competition and cooperation — rivaling others for mates or forming alliances that improve survival and reproductive chances.
In humans, mating strategies are far more complex, shaped not only by biology but also by culture, emotion, identity, and social context. They can look like dating preferences, flirtation styles, attraction patterns, or even deeper life choices — like whom we trust, how we bond, and why we stay.
If you want to know officially what are mating Strategies,
read this :
20 Different mating Strategies :
And remember some of them are what brought your parents and accentors to reproduce so you can live, so they are all in honorable in their own way.
Of course, your first instinct will be to ask if there are only twenty — or more.
These are not the truth; they are simply a rough observations, to create distinctions and noticing patterns.
If you are aware of a stratagy that you were unconscious too, you can make it conscious in a way that can serve and empower you in your life.
Please make your own research on this, and don't take things at face value.
The Nice man
Like in the movie Rise of the Warrior Apes,
there’s that one ape who stands out — not as the strongest or most dominant, but as the nicest. Almost the most human. He builds connections with many others, and even though he’s not at the top of the hierarchy, he ends up fathering many children in the tribe, quietly spreading his genes.
Smart, composed, and socially attuned, he knows how to play his cards. By being the nice ape, he gets the job done — slowly, steadily, and effectively.
While the nice ape, might have other motivations and strategies to be nice, it defiantly takes care of his mating needs as well.
The cheap thrill
You let them have a thrill with you, and you sell yourself short.
Not asking a lot for changing sexual energy with you, keeping the prices down, so the clients are happy and returning.
You don't believe you have high value to offer, you don't know how to behave that way, its too complicated and required too much effort.
Lets just let them have their way and be done with it. At least they enjoyed, and you get a momentarily pleasure in return
The Doormat
They will just let people touch them oblivious, have sex because someone wants that and who are they to say no ?
The doormat, is passing around to whoever needs to take some sexual energy of their foot.
The prudent / nun
The opposite strategy stopped working, or was too scary or forbidden
So you took on yourself a vow of chastity.
Frowning upon someone wearing “too short” jeans, or bathing topless, is your favourite thing.
You never have sex, never think about it, it’s for vulgar people. Sex is bad, sleazy, unholy
The only time it’s okay is if it serves some other purpose, usually coming from an authority figure, or an arranged marriage
If I get to chastise everyone else for being slutty, then I eliminate some competition
Maybe a better way is to create a religious institution, or just join a spiritual group in devotion
Deep inside you want the thing that disgusts you the most, and that’s freedom from the cage of your mating strategy
The Player/ fuckboy/
You get all the girls? Not for sure
You are there to offer though
You are a cool surfer, or club promoter, ready for the situation to play out your way
They love you when they let themselves be seduced by you
That’s your whole purpose right up front
You’re not hiding your mating strategy, or hiding it less than all the other ones
Why not play? Life is a game
The only gain is that it needs to stay superficial
If the connection gets too long or deep, you miss the turn to play
You get rusty and lose your flow
You ask yourself if you lost your purpose, and feel empty again
Mating as a fuckboy is succeeding in the world, as much as humanity’s stupidity survival strategy is solid
The Guru
Your mating strategy is disguised as enlightenment
You rise above everyone — not by climbing, but by floating
From that height, you never have to compete
People come to you
You speak in calm tones, you quote wisdom, you radiate serenity
You let others believe you see something they don’t
That you hold a secret doorway
That being close to you means becoming better themselves
You don’t chase
You magnetize
You create an atmosphere where people lean in, soften, and open themselves
Not because you demanded anything
But because they want the glow that seems to surround you
Your value is not measured in looks, status, or effort.
Yet they come, like flies to the lotus flower. Your good at making it seem spiritual and bonified it.
The Liberian/ wizard
Being a nerdy guy or gal, outside the courtyard of the cool kids, has its safety
In your own world of laboratory test tubes and potions, your eyes meet
A nerdy mate, just like you
All alone in the quietness of the bookshelves, you have all the time in the world to deepen your connection
To dive into fantasy worlds
To write your own shared story
You’re not competing with the cool kids anymore
You were never on the same track anyway
Here, sexuality feels distant, almost non-existent
Maybe it’s there, covered in book dust and the scent of old romantic novels
But at lest like any virgin hero, you too will reproduce in a sexual act.
Golden girl/ Perfect guy
Their just good at it.
They look good, smell good,
And have a golden vibe.
They do it right, not too much, not too little, always have a partner when needed, and know to play around when needed, they just seem to have no stuck emotions around any issue.
But sometimes in the past some interesting past.
The Junkie
They will crush in the corner, follow the drug dealer to the bathroom, or just look terribly using.
Its a style, a frequency, an invitation for a bargain.
Sex for drugs, or just drugs for fun and than sex, as long as they get their dose their good.
Being Quite
Being Quite, letting the world destroy itself if needed, but eventually thing will come his way.
Quite water sip deep, they say,
When everyone else fighting for attention being loud the quite guy sits back, and let the hardness of his quietness speak.
The best thing that it looks like he wasn't even trying, but deep inside his head, while standing on the corner strategies, the wheels in the head are always spinning for mating.
The harasser
He will keep harassing because as sad as it is, some will offer them as victims.
The Lone wolf
Covered in the earlier segment,
a LONE Wolf will go around the pack, howl and flesh is tail in the dark,
Some will get attracted and come join his mystery.
He his alone but not from weakness but strength and that is the benefit to the mating strategy.
Gold digger
Well.. the name say all.
offering drugs promoter club enabler
Going around with coke, ketamine, or anything that people around will give it center to. From addiction, social pressure, or wanting to be cool, he manipulates every angle to get you hooked on his little bag — and put you in his bag.
He will sneakily drop lines about the upcoming friends’ evening together, seemingly escalating the event before it even started.
He will ask you, “What do you plan to do?” hooking your mind already on the completion of the addiction, irresponsible drama.
He will let you take it, and have more for you. Later, you pay the price somehow. One thing is for sure — he will not be there to pay the bill.
Hot surfer
If you can surf and come out of the beach with a wet surfing context wet shirt, and a surfboard in hand you don't have to say much.
This goes to every kind of athlete or professional sports man.
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Hang you to dry
The Tortured Prophet survives by carrying the weight of knowing.
They see too much, feel too deeply, and live in a world that seems asleep.
Their Box learned that their sensitivity, vision, or truth is both their gift and their curse — that they’re destined to walk alone because no one can truly understand.
They often speak from pain — not for sympathy, but because they can’t not speak.
They see the cracks in the system, the shadows behind the light, and the future woven into the present.
Yet every attempt to share it feels like shouting into the void.
So they live in tension: part of them wanting to awaken others, another part convinced it’s hopeless.
The Tortured Prophet may be an artist, visionary, or teacher — someone who channels meaning through words, images, or presence — yet feels unseen or unreceived.
They often carry guilt, as if their suffering keeps the world in balance, or as if their pain is proof of depth.
Their Box believes that isolation is the price of awareness, that to be awake means to hurt.
So they keep carrying the fire alone, mistaking struggle for purpose.
To go beyond this strategy, the Tortured Prophet must release the need to suffer for the message.
The pain was never proof of worth — it was the doorway.
When they let the world meet them, not as a martyr but as a bridge, their gift transforms from burden to blessing — prophecy becomes participation.
The Social Butterfly
The Social Butterfly survives through connection — or at least, the appearance of it.
They move easily between groups, events, and people, always knowing what to say, how to smile, and where to be seen.
Their Box learned that belonging keeps them safe.
That as long as they’re liked, included, and surrounded by people, nothing bad can happen.
So they master the art of presence — light, friendly, engaging — while keeping their deeper layers hidden beneath charm and motion.
They thrive in activity and attention. Silence feels like emptiness; solitude feels like rejection.
They fill every space with conversation, laughter, or plans — anything that keeps stillness away.
When emotions rise, they change the subject, pour another drink, or move to a new circle where everything feels lighter again.
The Social Butterfly doesn’t just fear being alone — they fear being unseen.
Their constant motion is a dance of survival, an elegant disguise for the ache of disconnection underneath.
To go beyond this strategy, the Social Butterfly must stop fluttering and land — even for a moment.
To sit in stillness without performance, to meet someone without the mask, to feel the loneliness they’ve been out-flying for years.
Only then can connection become what it was meant to be — not survival, but nourishment.
The conspiracy knower
The Conspiracy Knower survives by knowing what others don’t. They are right, everyone else simply don't know their wrong.
Their safety comes from being alert, aware, and one step ahead of the supposed illusion everyone else lives in.
Their Box learned that the world is dangerous and deceptive — and that truth is hidden behind layers of lies, control, and manipulation.
They build identity through knowledge — collecting proofs, patterns, and secret explanations that make the chaos of life feel ordered.
In a way, it’s not about being right — it’s about being safe. If they understand what’s “really” going on, nothing can surprise or harm them.
They mistrust authority, media, systems, and sometimes even friends. If something goes wrong in their life- its all connected to the latest source they watched a you tube about.
Their mind is constantly connecting dots, seeing meaning where others see coincidence. The more they discover, the more separate they feel — both proud of their awareness and trapped in vigilance.
When this strategy deepens, the Conspiracy Knower becomes isolated, frustrated that others “don’t see.”
They start feeding off the energy of revelation — of being the one who knows.
It protects them from feeling powerless, but also keeps them out of connection and flow with life itself. They often use conspiracy to project on and communicate in a masked way their own shadow beliefs and agendas by talking about conspiracy of others. And often behind the scene make money off the stalk market, or the same organization in the pyramids they are preaching against.
The uncalibrated cringe
The Uncalibrated Cringe survives by not noticing how off they are.
They say the wrong thing, laugh too loud, overshare, or act out of sync — and somehow keep going as if nothing happened.
Their Box learned that awareness is painful, that self-reflection leads to shame or rejection.
So they turned that sensitivity off. They built a fantasy world where everything they do is “fine,” even when everyone else cringes.
They often carry an energy that makes others uncomfortable — not because they’re bad, but because they don’t read the room or realize that social norms keep people from saying anything.
They confuse intimacy with oversharing, confidence with invasion, playfulness with chaos.
They feel most at home in “conscious” events or communities, where people walk on eggshells and play practically nice boys and girls — spaces where their lack of calibration is tolerated rather than challenged.
At its core, this strategy hides deep loneliness. The Uncalibrated Cringe wants connection but doesn’t know how to enter it. They try — hard — and when it goes wrong, they double down, unaware of why people pull away.
They survive by pretending they don’t notice the silence that follows their words.
And in a way, it works — because noticing it would mean feeling the pain of separation they’ve spent a lifetime avoiding.
The Dum-Dum
The Dummy survives by staying simple — or at least acting that way.
They pretend not to know, not to understand, or not to notice, because awareness feels dangerous.
Their Box learned that being clever, insightful, or sharp attracts attention — and attention brings pressure, responsibility, or conflict.
So they dim the lights on purpose, play innocent, and let others take charge. It’s safer to be underestimated than to be exposed.
They often use humor, confusion, or forgetfulness as protection. “Oh, I didn’t know,” “I’m not good with that stuff,” or “You’re so much smarter than me” — all become invisible shields against expectation.
People around them may find them cute, funny, or harmless, but underneath that mask lies quiet intelligence and awareness — just locked away, unused.
By playing small, they avoid both failure and power, blending into the background where nothing is demanded of them.
They survive by pretending not to get it — when, in truth, they do. They’ve just learned that showing it costs too much.
At its root, the Dummy carries grief — the sadness of knowing they could do more, say more, be more, but choosing not to.
Because somewhere along the way, they decided that safety matters more than brilliance.
The Small Player
The Small Player survives by staying under the radar.
They keep their moves small, their voice quiet, and their dreams modest — not because they lack vision, but because standing out once felt unsafe.
Their Box learned that power attracts attack, visibility brings pressure, and success creates envy or rejection.
So they play safe. They avoid big risks, big choices, or big commitments. They master the art of almost — almost ready, almost starting, almost visible.
They often surround themselves with people who seem “bigger,” letting others lead while they quietly support from behind the scenes. It feels easier that way — less chance of failing, less chance of being blamed.
Inside, there’s a spark — the knowing they have more to give, more to say, more to create. But every time it rises, their Box whispers: “Don’t. You’ll lose everything.”
So they shrink again, smile, and tell themselves it’s not the right time.
The Small Player doesn’t lack talent or courage; they lack permission.
They survive by keeping their true size hidden — as if playing small guarantees safety.
But it also guarantees stagnation. And deep down, they know it.
What they really want isn’t to dominate — it’s to take up their real space in the world, without apology.
The Success Story / Big Player
The Success Story survives by winning.
They build their safety through achievement, image, and momentum — always moving forward, always performing, always proving.
Their Box learned that love and respect are earned through success.
That as long as they’re impressive, productive, or admired, they’ll be safe.
So they become masters of doing — filling every moment with results, status, or stories of victory.
They radiate confidence, competence, and control. People look up to them, follow them, and feed off their energy.
But beneath the polished surface lives quiet exhaustion — a fear that if they stop, the entire structure will collapse.
They can’t rest, because rest feels like falling behind. They can’t fail, because failure feels like death.
Their entire identity is built on being someone, and the idea of being no one terrifies them.
They often collect experiences, trophies, and relationships like proof of worth — yet each success fades quickly, demanding the next one.
The high of achievement becomes their only safe emotion.
At its core, the Success Story hides the terror of not being enough.
Their survival depends on staying above — above doubt, above others, above stillness.
They survive by living in the story of their greatness.
But the price is intimacy, rest, and authenticity. Because in their world, being human feels like losing — and losing was never an option.
The Ghost
The Ghost survives by disappearing.
Not literally — but energetically, emotionally, and sometimes even physically.
Their Box learned early that being present was unsafe.
Maybe there was shouting, chaos, or emotional invasion at home — or maybe they were simply never seen.
So they learned to fade. To shrink their presence until it didn’t disturb anyone.
To move quietly, think quietly, feel quietly — and eventually, to be quiet.
They became experts at invisibility. They can be in a room without anyone noticing. They drift through conversations, relationships, and jobs without leaving a trace.
When tension rises, they vanish — into screens, music, work, sleep, or the soft numbness of detachment.
Their disappearance protects them from rejection, conflict, and demand.
But it also erases them from the fabric of life.
They watch rather than participate, think rather than speak, and survive by being somewhere else.
The Ghost often confuses peace with absence.
Feeling nothing seems better than feeling too much.
But that numbness — the fog that keeps them safe — is also what keeps them from truly living.
They survive by not being here.
And the world around them adjusts, forgetting to look for them, until they forget themselves too.
The Pleaser
The Pleaser survives by keeping everyone around them safe and calm.
Their Box learned that emotions are dangerous — that if someone gets angry, sad, or upset, things could fall apart.
In early childhood, there was often chaos or emotional mess at home.
The Pleaser became the one who smoothed things over, softened the edges, and made sure everyone felt okay — or at least looked okay.
They started taking responsibility for other people’s feelings, believing that peace depends on their ability to keep everyone balanced.
They say yes when they mean no, smile when they want to scream, and sense others’ emotions faster than their own.
Their attention lives outside themselves — scanning the room, reading the tone, adjusting to make sure nothing explodes.
They appear kind, supportive, and caring — but underneath, there’s tension, exhaustion, and quiet panic.
They survive by carrying everyone’s emotions so no one else has to feel them.
But in doing so, they lose contact with their own.
The Pleaser doesn’t just want to be liked — they want to prevent collapse.
They learned that safety means keeping harmony alive, even if it costs their authenticity.
To go beyond this strategy, the Pleaser must stop holding the emotional weather of the room.
To let others feel what they feel, without fixing it.
And to discover that peace doesn’t come from managing others — it comes from finally feeling themselves.
Core relevant distinctions:
1
Mating strategies are different for males and females but today the intrinsic relation in each individual are so complex that you might as well consider these strategies for both.
In this terms, its might be written here for female or male to get clarity, but officially can be regarded as either.
2
Survival strategies are NOT the same as breeding strategies.
Even though they are often tied together and connected, they serve different purposes and follow different codes.
They are frequently mixed, but confusing these two types of strategies creates a lot of misunderstanding when working with people.
3
For men a lot of the mating strategies, are just sticking to their survival strategies, this is way its very similar and confusing at the same time.
For women a lot of the mating strategies been complexed by their wired positions in the Patriarchy and than seem mutated sometimes for men that didnt researched their development
4
Notice these survival strategies — for some of us, they are core, and we can find ourselves in one or two of them.
For others, we can take one survival strategy and see it as one behavior our Box has, but not in such a prominent way.
This makes sense.
5
This is written here for you — for your research, not to take as “truths,” and especially not to beat yourself up with!
6
Yes some of these survival strategies cross into the realms of the Shadow Guide and its Shadow purpose and behaviors.
This shows you the connection and how they are so related, as the Shadow Guide behaviors are the protection mechanism that keep the survival strategy together.
7.
What to do with a Survival Strategy
NOT taking the opposite one.
Oftan people discover their survival strategy and their Shadow Guide uses that to beat themselves up with it.
Later, out of self-guilt, they pick the opposite one as the safest solution.
Opposite survival strategies don’t work to grow, or improve life situation.
They just take you on a loop that can take a few years before you find yourself at the same spot again.
For example: if you played the good girl all your life, and now taking the bad girl, in a few months you feel the same stuck emotions you felt before.
8.
A big part of general survival strategies is the relationship to a few key factors in our survival:
– Relation to authority figures
– Relation to control and chaos (for example, some survive by embracing control, some by embracing chaos)
– Relation to work, chores, school, etc.
– And the big one — relation to the other sex, and to sex in general
We will explore that in:
The Mating Strategies
Notice we didn't told you what to do and "how to resolve" These survival strategies.
This is because, despite the strategy to solve or go beyond things, feeling the pain of having a survival strategy is the most useful thing for evolution.
The part of you that wants to go beyond the boundaries of limitation will, by itself, show you the path.
If you find some cool experiments along the way, send them to us and we’ll put them here.