There are 7 ego states
Actually, we have many more parts than that... A whole zoo of parts. But there are 7 that for now are easy to work with.
EXAMPLES OF DIFFERENT PARTS:
The "Badass" You
The one before you go out in a leather jacket, looking in the mirror and saying, "I fucking got this."
The "Good Boy/Nice Girl" Part
When you visit your grandma – you pull out your cutest angel look and show your grandma what a perfect grandchild you are.
The "Perfect New Guy/Gal" Part
The one that comes up when you meet a new group of friends at a social event. You are perfectly calibrated and attuned to the group melody, you laugh in coordination and fill everyone’s cup with importance juice. Of course, this part doesn't last forever; on the first full day with the crew, you get tired and switch to the "tired and unpleased you."
ARE THESE PARTS "REALLY" YOU OR NOT YOU?
Some people spend a lifetime on the hamster wheel of figuring out who is "really" them, trying to inflexibly stick to one persona as if it’s a life vest upon a wreckage of a ship in the middle of the ocean.
These parts are part of you. They are different because they assimilated themselves over the years from different situations and adaptations you needed to make.
Maybe the "perfect new guy/gal" was assimilated when your parents moved a lot between countries.
Maybe the "bad boy" was collected from movies when you felt unsuccessful in your early middle school dating scene.
Maybe the "cool surfer" was a recent collection from your South America trip, and the good boy was something you built up surviving your family.
SYSTEM OF IDENTIFICATIONS
This system of identifications – thoughts, stories about yourself, beliefs about the world, rules you made, old decisions, opinions, agendas, intentions, even the way of carrying your body language, usage of tongue, style and slang, vocality, tastes in food, etc. – have all wrapped up each one of these identification parts of you.
THE 7 PRIMARY ARCHETYPAL PARTS
7 of them are more highlighted and found in just about everyone. They are primary and archetypal in the sense that they signify a common part in every human. Working with these 7 proved extremely useful in finding one's "X on the map," understanding from which position of identification they are relating.
EXAMPLE: THE CHILD STATE
One easy example is the child state. We all know that part – when we’re tired and just want to cuddle, or when we’re hungry and stressed and just need our mom or dad. All the stuck feelings from the past – the emotions – are part of that state because they got stuck when we were kids. So, when we have an emotion – who feels it? The child part of us. So yeah, we can say, "I’m in the child ego state now," to signal to our friends which part of us is now holding the steering wheel and speaking.
THIS ISN’T "THE TRUTH"
(Also because there is no such thing.) It’s not something to believe in or adopt as a life philosophy – it’s just a tool, like a glass prism that creates a certain reflection of light as it breaks inside of it. Maybe it’s useful for you to examine things with.
The demon ego state
The child
The being/ The Adult
The Archetypal
The Child - The Child
Your Child Ego state is the collection of experiences you had in your past that are still alive with you now, where you experience them as your child self.
Maybe as a kid you used to love a certain ice cream—eating it now takes you back to your child enjoying it. Maybe if that ice cream made you uncontrollably enjoy it as a child and now the joy lasts more than 3 minutes, it's an emotion of joy that really got stuck in the past. The Child Ego state contains the emotions and feelings from the past.
The Box- Your box is a collection of identifications, belief systems, opinions, agendas, positions, stories about yourself and the world, etc..
It is designed to make you survive by keeping you in the line of what you already know.
Your box has already been made, so it’s kind of an old and rigid structure. Some people, however, identify with their box so strongly that it becomes like stone, leaving them stuck in the ground as a testament to who they are.
You are not your box, despite maybe forgetting it or being narrowly surrounded by it—especially on the occasion of needing to survive.
The shadow guide - your Shadow Guide is part of you that keep you from what your not ready to take responsibility for. It protects your box, your survival mechanism, that keep you safe.
How does it protect ? Distracting you, keep you small, keep you big, whatever active strategy it developed over the years to be at your side and protect you.
Yes it is your Ally ego State. despite the messes it creates in your life, and your lack of control over it up to when you initiate a conscious relation to it.
Your Parent Ego State – all the voices: the "shoulds"
“You should clean your room, get a job, be more _____.”
All the worrying about grownups as if they are children.
Talking to people as if they are kids.
And treating the world as a “responsible parent.”
This all comes from your Parent Ego State.
This ego state was developed by adopting your parents and authority figures—like teachers, community members, and TV characters—as your own voices.
You did that to survive.
These voices have now become your own voice, and until you’ve done deep work with that, you won’t even notice or catch those silent shoulds that run your life.
The demon Ego State –
Also voices but more of despair :
"You would never make it"
"They will never except you"
"It was all in vain"
"You failed again"
This voices are coming to suck your energy, drain you, and leave you helpless for a while.
Than they leave, you wake up after a month, and don't know what happen and where YOU, have been.
You forget about them until the next time they come, unless you start to capture them and get ready, A space holder from Connect can help you learn easily how to do that.
The Archetypal -
This ego state, is a representation of several dimensions that you can access through your Archetypal body, and let them navigate as your adult connected to them.
More on Archetypal domains
This is a representation of the map of Ego States
Explanation about the 7 Ego State Map
If you haven’t been in a training where this was presented to you with clear distinctions and full explanation, you’re going to have a gap in your understanding of it.
You can use this map as an introduction platform to ask more.
OR, if you’ve been to a training and seen this map, it can serve as a reminder point—an access key to visit this map again within you.
This map represents many distinctions, but here are some that are valuable for right now:
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Only when you are in your Adult Ego State can you access the Archetypal domains.
This is why many Archetypal paths are missed inside well-known traditions.
People hear about them from their Child Ego State, Parent, or Box—not through the Adult, where they are centered, connected to their feelings, and conscious of the other ego states in them. -
The Shadow Guide (SG) is protecting the Box, which is not exactly an active ego state but more a compilation of survival strategies.
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If you are not conscious that it is your Adult who is in control of the driver’s seat—guess who’s driving? Any number of the other ones. But definitely not your Adult.
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The other ego states are not bad or wrong. They were created to serve and protect you. As you go through Next Culture trainings, initiations, and work, you become more centered and stable in your Adult. This is what’s called your Being expands.
How it may serve you to use this map
If you can see which part of you take action,
you can have more clarity and love more conscious life.
Being aware of the 7 ego states offer possibility to have higher responsibility for your action.
If your not Conscious of your purpose you have an unconscious purpose. For example If you don't know what is the purpose of answering to your partner, It might be that your being reactive as your child ego state, or actually serve you shadow guide purpose- a dark purpose.
Maybe your doing things because they were with you from your parents or other authority figure voices. Your not acting,. your reacting to your parents fears of you not making it life. so the voice of " you should be clean" " You should do your homework" become your own voice "I should get a job" "I should clean my room".
Whatever Ego state is alive now, or during the next week, you are invited to notice, without judging, without beating yourself up.
And also to find a Connect Space Holder to work with and get more clarity and possibilities to center in your adult.
